The Air Conditioning Controversy that Ended True Love
Our Emotional Guidance System is designed to rid us of anxiety. Differences of opinion often, maybe even usually, generate anxiety. Thus our Emotional Guidance Systemwill do whatever is necessary to obliterate differences of opinion. The simplest method of disposing with differences of opinion is to insist on DUALISTIC thinking. That is….Either I am right and you are wrong or….You are right and…naah…that’s unthinkable.
A woman was dating a fellow she really liked and he seemingly felt the same. As they were leaving her house for their fifth date,
The lady paused and said, “Wait. I need to go back and turn up the air-conditioning.”
He said, “How high do you turn your air-conditioner up?”
She said, “I put it on eighty degrees.”
He said, “Eighty? Really? I’ve heard that it’s actually harder on the system to turn it up that far, that it costs more to re-cool the house when you return, than if you’d just left the temperature down.”
She said, “That makes no sense at all.”
He said, “Well, actually, what I read was… etc.”
She said, “Ridiculous. Do you believe everything you read?”
He said, “Ha. Where are you getting your information?”
The rest isn’t hard to imagine. The relationship ended without a fifth date. Challenge: To promote the development of the Thinking Guidance System, find at least one sticky situation today in which someone holds a different opinion, and allow the difference to ‘be’. Strategy: Have a freeing phrase handy such as, “That’s what makes for horseraces.” Or, “That’s one of the things I like about working here, we’re not all alike on every issue.” Or, “I guess none of us knows what we would really do if we were in someone else’s situation.”
Sometimes it helps to remember that each person has a right to their opinon. I know, I don’t really buy it, either. Secretly I believe that the only reason my spouse does not agree with me on absolutely everything is simply that I have not repeated myself often enough. That one day, I’ll say, “You know, if you’d didn’t feed Crazy Dog from your plate, she’d be a more pleasant dinner companion.” And, he’ll say, “Wow, you’re right. I can’t believe I’ve been so thick-headed all these many years….Got any other ideas on how I can improve my life?”
