What I didn’t expect was the direction the discussion took.  The trim fellow across from me, who’d grilled the waiter for ten minutes regarding the no-fat preparation of his vegan pasta…leaned over the table to ask me, “You’re a psychologist, don’t you agree that drug laws will never be effective in this Hollywood-adoring, lazy society?”

“Hollywood?” I asked.

“Surely you agree that drug addicts, fat people, and slobs spending weekends on their cans watching football…they’re all simply morally weak people?

I pushed my fries to outer edges of my plate.  “I beg your pardon?” I asked. I think. Could be I didn’t say anything out loud.  Anyway, I didn’t want to get in a long discussion the Texas-Oklahoma game started in fifteen minutes.

“Sugar’s an addiction, too,” the lady with the herbal tea suggestion added. “Along with caffeine.  I don’t know what makes all these people drinking diet drinks think they’ve kicked their addictions.”

“Sugar?” I asked, weakly.

“I know how we can fix the health care crisis.  If you’re overweight and don’t do anything about it—no free health care for you.  If you drink, no liver transplants and no insurance covered medications.  If you smoked, you pay cash for every oxygen cost, and no insurance supported home health care or lung transplants.”

“Wow,” I said.  “I think habits are a little more complicated…maybe…”

“I agree with him,” herbal tea lady said. “Why should I have to pay because someone else doesn’t take care of their body?  I take care of myself.  I make good decisions.  I shouldn’t have to kick in because some fat slob with a weak character gets diabetes.”

“Oh,” I managed.

“If psychologists like you would stand up and admit that smoking, drinking, drugs, and food addiction are moral failures, instead of making excuses, the country would be a much better place to live in.”

“I know, we shrinks are a stubborn lot,” I said, standing up to go.  “I’m going outside for a smoke.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize you used cigarettes,” the thin man said, popping the cap down on his water bottle.

“I don’t,” I said, heading out. “Who smokes tobacco since crack’s been around?”

P.S. Since then I’ve thought of a response……Next….