And I Thought I Was Bad, The Secret Hoarding Waitress Incident

Dateline: IHOP, West Ft. Worth.

The following conversation is taking place behind me.

Irritable Woman to Waitress: “I want an answer and I want it now!”

Waitress: “Sure. How can I help you?”

IW: “I want to know why that guy who came in after we did already has his food and we don’t?”

That guy pretends he doesn’t exist.

W: “I can say for sure, some orders are quicker to expedite than others.”

IW: “That makes absolutely no sense! We ordered one of your specials ant that guy ordered some kind of lunch with rolls.”

W: “I wish I had an answer, ma’am, but–”

IW: “You have an answer, but you More >

Intrigue Your Friends! Frighten Your Relatives!

Okay, guys, Anxiety Management Pop Quiz Challenge.

Tomorrow… Okay, that’s asking too much. Pick a day next week. A sudden change in your personality could lead friends and relatives to the wrong conclusion. You know…bring up that troublesome branch of the family…and how you do look just like Aunt Franny…you know, when you get that look in your eyes…

So, we’re talking about change here, but no sudden moves.

First, think about your typical day…from the moment you open your eyes until you close them again. Now, find an event, person, wardrobe, phone user, disaster, profession, religion, publication, television show, politician, political viewpoint….that when you More >

Sensitivity Is Not Your Friend

“Which is more important? The world you can touch? Or the world you are making up and responding to?

The Thinking Guidance System begs us to use facts. The Emotional Guidance System uses fears and cheap shot expectations.

An important element in our writing and directing our own little version of the world…is sensitivity. As you move through the world, what little pieces jump out of the tapestry and grow until they really, really bug you? Maybe your hyper-awareness even takes on so much power that you MUST splatter your fears and exaggerations on other people.

For example, yesterday I read an article written by More >

“Women in Therapy” Part Two

So, I felt really good about getting stuck to my husband’s anxiety on the trip into town. (See “Women in Therapy” Part One.) For once, my THINKING GUIDANCE SYSTEM stayed in charge.

A month or so later I attended a conference for psychologists and psychologists titled “Women in Therapy” at the Menninger Clinic. During a small group exercise (remember the power of the group) I related my success the afternoon of the meltdown on the way to the deposition. After my somewhat smug review of events, I sat back in my chair waiting for accolades, maybe even an overdue Girl Scout badge.

But, that’s not More >

Anxiety: The “Women in Therapy” Incident

Okay. Some more on FUSION . . . sticking yourself to someone else’s anxiety. Making THEIR anxiety about YOU.

We lose power over ourselves when we cannot operate separately . . . when our “mood” is determined by the “mood” of another person. When our sense of doing okay is dependant on another person (usually a spouse or a child) doing okay . . . we are going to try very hard to keep the other person calm so that we can be calm. Though, of course, we deny such a motivation. We say we are twisting into a pretzel to keep them calm More >

What’s Your Number? What Gets You Going?

Picture yourself as having a telephone punch pad on your forehead.

Each button is a statement or subject that can make you go crazy (EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM in charge).

Which buttons in your system are just waiting to be pushed and you will lose charge of yourself? For me CRITICISM (real or imagined) is hardest for me to not respond to. Yep, fling me a criticism and I FUSE with the anxiety of the person doing the flinging.

Yoda Note: When someone says something ugly about you, it isn’t about you. It isn’t about you even when it is about you. Meaning, the other person wouldn’t be pointing More >

I’m Absolutely Sure this is Right; Or NOT

That woman who was all platitudes and blind optimism from yesterday? I can’t stand that chick. She just pops out now and then all Holier-than-Thou making all sorts of weak-kneed suggestions. And then . . . The first publisher edit comes back on “TOO RICH AND TOO THIN, Not an autobiography.”

The suggestion was made . . . that the manuscript wasn’t already perfect. That maybe I had a ways to go before my precious words hit the big press. No, that’s not the truth. The truth is much too disturbing to reveal here. Yikes. I took that all-smiley-look-at-me-I’m-so-mature-psychologist More >

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